I am feeling the after-effects of the BIG FREEZE we had in the UK - my gut feels frozen, my fingers, my thoughts, my self-motivation et al - a delayed reaction considering the ice has all thawed and we had a surprisingly warm-ish week between Xmas and New Year.
I am forcing the wheels in my mind to move ...creaaak..ccreeeeaakkk - my fingers are not having any trouble keeping up at the moment, even in their numbed state. Spewing out my thoughts will cheer me up, but why oh why are they are not even a trickle yet??
"Delete and run" is the message my brain is shouting out - "you have nothing to say"...
"Go easy on yourself hon", my heart says. "Gently does it...."
It's crossroads time - be overwhelmed and cry or sing a silly song and smile......
Hey girl, being a mother, and a full-time one at that, is all about being overwhelmed - overwhelmed by tiredness many times, by frustration on rare occasions, by guilt when you feel you are not doing enough...... but through it all, the most overwhelming sensation is this immeasurable love that hits you - wave after wave - even when you want it to stop for a minute so you can get a break from always always wanting to do your very best for your child - ALL THE TIME.
"Sing.. sing a song.. make it simple to last your while life long....
Don't worry that its not good enough
For anyone else to hear
Just sing.. sing a song.." - Carpenters......
So what now... keep singing - song after song .. keep typing - word after word....
And some minutes later (I'll spare you the list of songs I went through), I suddenly realise how silly I'm being... being overwhelmed by love ain't a thing to moan about, now is it!! Heehhee haahaaaa........... So what if I sometimes feel exhausted from stretching higher for Kee all the time, so what if I feel I can't keep up sometimes - that's motherhood baby!!! you know what I'm sayin' ............ I am blessed to be a mother and THAT is the bottom line. Smile - it all makes sense....
Thank you Kee.
And Happy New Year to you and me!!!
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Sunday, April 18, 2010
An overflow of fut-thoughts
It's been a hormonal, lack-of-patience, tiring weekend for me even though we had a lot of fun moments too. One of the bonuses is the excellent weather - mild seventeen degree warmth. Bobby and Kee are at the park while I sit on our doorstep relaxing in the warm evening sunshine.
At times like this, when hormones are running helter-skelter (thank God such days are rare or I'd be a basket-case!!), even the Doman way cannot give me the answer of how to remain calm and see things through Kee's eyes instead of my own. This is when I need something deeper to take over from within myself, when I simply want time to stand still so I can turn my focus inwards.
Well, time ain't gonna wait and suddenly, as I write, I realise the answer is right here. When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is put pen on paper and by the time I have filled a page or two, life is looking up once more and I am well on my way back to being bubbly and happy.
Writing does for me what singing or dancing does for many others. It calms my soul. And it always always works like a magic formula. My writing ability comes directly from my feelings, hence sporadic blogging works well for me.
I have to wonder, though, can I discipline myself to write more often and on any subject simply by researching the topic? Or is it better for me to simply carry on as is - writing when feelings and thoughts overwhelm me and have to flow outwards?
The answer is straight-forward. For the present moment, while I am enjoying being a full-time professional mother, busy prepaing materials and teaching Kee, I'll stick to using writing as my spirit-therapy and to share that which will not be contained within. As to the future, who knows what surprises are waiting right around the corner.
Time to get back to making bits of intelligence and reading cards - learning, teaching and having lots of fun. Catch you the next time I feel compelled to share. Au revoir mon ami.
At times like this, when hormones are running helter-skelter (thank God such days are rare or I'd be a basket-case!!), even the Doman way cannot give me the answer of how to remain calm and see things through Kee's eyes instead of my own. This is when I need something deeper to take over from within myself, when I simply want time to stand still so I can turn my focus inwards.
Well, time ain't gonna wait and suddenly, as I write, I realise the answer is right here. When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is put pen on paper and by the time I have filled a page or two, life is looking up once more and I am well on my way back to being bubbly and happy.
Writing does for me what singing or dancing does for many others. It calms my soul. And it always always works like a magic formula. My writing ability comes directly from my feelings, hence sporadic blogging works well for me.
I have to wonder, though, can I discipline myself to write more often and on any subject simply by researching the topic? Or is it better for me to simply carry on as is - writing when feelings and thoughts overwhelm me and have to flow outwards?
The answer is straight-forward. For the present moment, while I am enjoying being a full-time professional mother, busy prepaing materials and teaching Kee, I'll stick to using writing as my spirit-therapy and to share that which will not be contained within. As to the future, who knows what surprises are waiting right around the corner.
Time to get back to making bits of intelligence and reading cards - learning, teaching and having lots of fun. Catch you the next time I feel compelled to share. Au revoir mon ami.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
We've only just begun.....
Tomorrow is the day I was born xx number of years ago, but I have never felt younger - yes yes, my body creaks a bit and I need to exercise, but my spirit is fit as a fiddle belting out a lively melody - ah that superb spirit! Life is brimming with excitement and wonderful promise as Bobby, Kee and I embark on a journey of love, joy and learning.
Rewind time to 2 weeks ago - "It's late at night and I sit here on the window sill in our 36th floor hotel room in Atlantic City. I am captivated by the sight of the moon rising up out of the Atlantic Ocean, big and beautiful, casting a column of golden light. The water ripples and shimmers, and from where I am, that's all the eye can see. But, isn't it simply wonderful that beneath the dancing surface, there's a whole different world - a world which is invisible to us until we dive down to explore its depths."
I was that person living on the land going through life, happy yet unaware of the treasures that awaited me. Kee came into our lives, bringing the diving suits with her, but it was only when we realised that simply fitting her into our adult lives wasn't good enough - only then did we actually put on the diving gear. All that was left to do was to learn to dive into these new depths.
We are ready and willing students, committed to Kee, to teach her to love life minus the cynicism. No, cancel that - she already loves life fully just as every baby does. We are committed one hundred percent to doing everything we can so she carries on in that vein, enjoying life to the fullest, embracing every new experience with joyous enthusiasm, confidence sparkling in those radiant eyes of hers, big and beautiful like the moon.
So began our search for the right teacher and sure enough, we found them in Glenn Doman, Janet Doman and all the staff at the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential in Philadelphia (http://www.iahp.org/). We read their books and knew they were the ones. I attended an intense week-long course, "How to Multilpy Your Baby's Intelligence" at their beautiful Philadelphia campus. They are strong people, not afraid to challenge the ways of the world and stand by their convictions - convictions they have formed based on actual observation and experience of babies and their environment across the globe over a period of 55 years.
I came away after the week, armed with the knowledge of how the human brain develops and how every activity we do as babies actually grows the brain - activities like crawling, creeping, walking, talking and so on. I learned that the brain grows by use just as our muscles do. Feed your little child's brain with knowledge in the form of facts, that is teach them to read, do math, appreciate music, swim, do gymnastics, be multilingual .... time out - I can see you zoning out right about now thinking to yourself, "I never saw her as one of those pushy mothers", but stay with me for a few more minutes and think about this instead.
Have you ever seen the immense curiosity shining in a tiny baby's eyes? Have you ever watched a baby see, hear, touch, smell and taste everything in sight? Have you ever been driven crazy by the "why's" of a three-year-old?
Well darlings, babies and little children absolutely and completely LOVE TO LEARN about the world, anything and everything about it. They learn through their five senses, hence they thrive in an environment filled with sensory stimulation. The Institutes teach mothers and fathers how to teach their children a whole host of things, thereby giving the kids exactly what they want most - to learn. That the brain grows as a direct result of this is almost like a bonus.
I can't possibly even begin to give you a taste of all the invaluable things I learned in that one week - it is life-changing and quite honestly, even that phrase does not quite describe it. I will say this - I came away with a far greater respect for babies, their mothers and fathers, and for immense capacity of the human brain.
Most important of all, the staff at the Institutes taught me, by example, to trust my instincts and not to be cowed down by society as I do what I know to be best for Kee, so she grows up loving life the way every baby does. They taught me the true meaning of the phrase "the courage of your convictions" and for this and much much more, I am deeply grateful.
The able and intelligent children, who are students at the Institutes, and their parents showed us via demos how wonderful and exciting the process of learning and brain growth is. Shining in their eyes is the same love, joy and respect I see in Kee's eyes. They are just kids - kids whose parents saw that sparkle and gave them their 100% by becoming their teachers too - they best teachers they could possibly have because no one loves them more.
Bobby, Kee and I have dived in and it is beautiful.... and it is fun... and it's only the beginning.
Rewind time to 2 weeks ago - "It's late at night and I sit here on the window sill in our 36th floor hotel room in Atlantic City. I am captivated by the sight of the moon rising up out of the Atlantic Ocean, big and beautiful, casting a column of golden light. The water ripples and shimmers, and from where I am, that's all the eye can see. But, isn't it simply wonderful that beneath the dancing surface, there's a whole different world - a world which is invisible to us until we dive down to explore its depths."
I was that person living on the land going through life, happy yet unaware of the treasures that awaited me. Kee came into our lives, bringing the diving suits with her, but it was only when we realised that simply fitting her into our adult lives wasn't good enough - only then did we actually put on the diving gear. All that was left to do was to learn to dive into these new depths.
We are ready and willing students, committed to Kee, to teach her to love life minus the cynicism. No, cancel that - she already loves life fully just as every baby does. We are committed one hundred percent to doing everything we can so she carries on in that vein, enjoying life to the fullest, embracing every new experience with joyous enthusiasm, confidence sparkling in those radiant eyes of hers, big and beautiful like the moon.
So began our search for the right teacher and sure enough, we found them in Glenn Doman, Janet Doman and all the staff at the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential in Philadelphia (http://www.iahp.org/). We read their books and knew they were the ones. I attended an intense week-long course, "How to Multilpy Your Baby's Intelligence" at their beautiful Philadelphia campus. They are strong people, not afraid to challenge the ways of the world and stand by their convictions - convictions they have formed based on actual observation and experience of babies and their environment across the globe over a period of 55 years.
I came away after the week, armed with the knowledge of how the human brain develops and how every activity we do as babies actually grows the brain - activities like crawling, creeping, walking, talking and so on. I learned that the brain grows by use just as our muscles do. Feed your little child's brain with knowledge in the form of facts, that is teach them to read, do math, appreciate music, swim, do gymnastics, be multilingual .... time out - I can see you zoning out right about now thinking to yourself, "I never saw her as one of those pushy mothers", but stay with me for a few more minutes and think about this instead.
Have you ever seen the immense curiosity shining in a tiny baby's eyes? Have you ever watched a baby see, hear, touch, smell and taste everything in sight? Have you ever been driven crazy by the "why's" of a three-year-old?
Well darlings, babies and little children absolutely and completely LOVE TO LEARN about the world, anything and everything about it. They learn through their five senses, hence they thrive in an environment filled with sensory stimulation. The Institutes teach mothers and fathers how to teach their children a whole host of things, thereby giving the kids exactly what they want most - to learn. That the brain grows as a direct result of this is almost like a bonus.
I can't possibly even begin to give you a taste of all the invaluable things I learned in that one week - it is life-changing and quite honestly, even that phrase does not quite describe it. I will say this - I came away with a far greater respect for babies, their mothers and fathers, and for immense capacity of the human brain.
Most important of all, the staff at the Institutes taught me, by example, to trust my instincts and not to be cowed down by society as I do what I know to be best for Kee, so she grows up loving life the way every baby does. They taught me the true meaning of the phrase "the courage of your convictions" and for this and much much more, I am deeply grateful.
The able and intelligent children, who are students at the Institutes, and their parents showed us via demos how wonderful and exciting the process of learning and brain growth is. Shining in their eyes is the same love, joy and respect I see in Kee's eyes. They are just kids - kids whose parents saw that sparkle and gave them their 100% by becoming their teachers too - they best teachers they could possibly have because no one loves them more.
Bobby, Kee and I have dived in and it is beautiful.... and it is fun... and it's only the beginning.
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Kee to my joy
The big bundle under the blanket twitches and shakes with increasing intensity followed by a grunting sound and then loud irrepressible giggles.
This whole drama does not phase you at all my darling 19-month old Kee Kee girl. After all, you are the one who instigates these episodes. Come naptime or bedtime and I hug and kiss you good night after our little girlie chat. I would then close my eyes and listen to you muck around before you nodded off to sleep. But ever since you started talking so much, I have had to resort to hiding my face under the blanket. You always say something that makes joyful laughter bubble up inside of me and if I let you see all this mirth, you will join in and there goes the peaceful notion of sleep straight out of the window.
Kee, in case I don't show you often enough as time goes by, let me say this now. You are the greatest blessing in my life. You shower me with love and tenderness in the way only a little child can - pure, non-judgemental and infinite love. Aah, the joyful sense of completeness that being your mother brings more than makes up for the sleepless nights and the binloads of crappy nappies.
I am doubly blessed because I get to stay home with you and greedily partake of every moment of firsts and newness that you experience. Time goes by too quickly and before I know it, you will be off to school. There is time enough in my life to come back to earth and face the reality of careers etc etc. For now, I am on top of the world and you put me there my sweetheart.
With all my love,
your unashamedly sentimental mamma who has the reputation of shedding a tear at every emotional opportunity
This whole drama does not phase you at all my darling 19-month old Kee Kee girl. After all, you are the one who instigates these episodes. Come naptime or bedtime and I hug and kiss you good night after our little girlie chat. I would then close my eyes and listen to you muck around before you nodded off to sleep. But ever since you started talking so much, I have had to resort to hiding my face under the blanket. You always say something that makes joyful laughter bubble up inside of me and if I let you see all this mirth, you will join in and there goes the peaceful notion of sleep straight out of the window.
Kee, in case I don't show you often enough as time goes by, let me say this now. You are the greatest blessing in my life. You shower me with love and tenderness in the way only a little child can - pure, non-judgemental and infinite love. Aah, the joyful sense of completeness that being your mother brings more than makes up for the sleepless nights and the binloads of crappy nappies.
I am doubly blessed because I get to stay home with you and greedily partake of every moment of firsts and newness that you experience. Time goes by too quickly and before I know it, you will be off to school. There is time enough in my life to come back to earth and face the reality of careers etc etc. For now, I am on top of the world and you put me there my sweetheart.
With all my love,
your unashamedly sentimental mamma who has the reputation of shedding a tear at every emotional opportunity
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Do you need a pep talk?
Priti = confused.com at the moment. Has been for a few days now and will probably carry on for a few more. Kal bhi, aaj bhi, kal bhi - there, now I've got the Bajaj scooter jingle playing over and over in my head to add to all the babbling voices alredy fighting for supremacy.
You see, I am at crossroads again and it's time to choose. There are a zillion options threatening to overwhelm me to the extent I am tempted to simply take the easy way out and just go back to what I've done all these years. "FREEZE right there missy", screams a part of me, a part which has been soft and polite, waiting quietly in the wings for her turn to take the stage by storm.
She scares me a little. She demands 100% commitment to whatever road I end up choosing. She expects a very high degree of self motivation to see it through, however hard it may be.
As I stand teetering on the brink, I know that at some point, I will have to set my fears to one side and take that step into the unknown. So what's holding me back? Maybe I am overthinking the situation - seems to be a trait that comes with age. Maybe it's time to shift into reverse gear and pick up some pointers from my past - the wisdom of youth.
You see, I am at crossroads again and it's time to choose. There are a zillion options threatening to overwhelm me to the extent I am tempted to simply take the easy way out and just go back to what I've done all these years. "FREEZE right there missy", screams a part of me, a part which has been soft and polite, waiting quietly in the wings for her turn to take the stage by storm.
She scares me a little. She demands 100% commitment to whatever road I end up choosing. She expects a very high degree of self motivation to see it through, however hard it may be.
As I stand teetering on the brink, I know that at some point, I will have to set my fears to one side and take that step into the unknown. So what's holding me back? Maybe I am overthinking the situation - seems to be a trait that comes with age. Maybe it's time to shift into reverse gear and pick up some pointers from my past - the wisdom of youth.
- Mix a cup of foolhardiness with 3 cups of bravery
- Pour in a pint of supreme self-confidence
- Whizz it together with the knowledge that it will all turn out right
Bottoms up babes with no time to let uncertainty take over. And go!
Simple formula and it always did turn out right.
Time to feel that rush again - eyes-shining, blood-singing, heart-thumping belief. Go girl!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Happy yellow muslin....
Hanging out the washing, watching it dance in the sunlight and summer breeze as I drink a cup of tea, picturing the warmth drinking in the moisture as it evaporates up towards the sky - for some reason, it soothes my soul and I am at peace.
I appreciate this simple phenomenon all the more after a 4-year stint of drying clothes in the bathroom of our flat. We have a garden now but the sun only ever floods it in the short summer months. Come winter and the weak rays of the sun do not even find the strength to bless our garden. Must be something to do with rotation and revolution, but I can't be bothered to think too much about the why's and wherefore's.
The yellow muslin cloth is waving happily to me and I smile, Kee's waving obsession flashing before my mind's eye. She can spend all day waving and clapping. The simple wondrous joys of babyhood discovering better control and coordination of her limbs. She can spend all the day trying to walk, taking a few precious steps and then 'plonk', but never for a moment does the thought of giving up cross her mind. The confidence of babyhood not bogged down by the fear of failure. She can spend all day playing peek-a-boo, her eyes lighting up with surprise and joy each and every time she spots me. The best part of babyhood, experiencing each moment as new and special.
I love being Kee's mommy. It's an opportunity to learn to really live again, to enjoy simple pleasures and to laugh so so so much more than ever before.
Warning: Watching the washing dry in the sun leads to happy thoughts and feeling blessed. Are you ready for it? What the heck - enjoy the sight, for in an hour's time it may rain. (And I will hold the evaporating moisture from my washing solely responsible). Yeh hai England meri jaan (This is England my love)!
Note for the musically inclined - sing "Happy yellow muslin hanging on the line" to the tune of "Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree"...... now you can really go to ga-ga land with me heehaw heehaw!
I appreciate this simple phenomenon all the more after a 4-year stint of drying clothes in the bathroom of our flat. We have a garden now but the sun only ever floods it in the short summer months. Come winter and the weak rays of the sun do not even find the strength to bless our garden. Must be something to do with rotation and revolution, but I can't be bothered to think too much about the why's and wherefore's.
The yellow muslin cloth is waving happily to me and I smile, Kee's waving obsession flashing before my mind's eye. She can spend all day waving and clapping. The simple wondrous joys of babyhood discovering better control and coordination of her limbs. She can spend all the day trying to walk, taking a few precious steps and then 'plonk', but never for a moment does the thought of giving up cross her mind. The confidence of babyhood not bogged down by the fear of failure. She can spend all day playing peek-a-boo, her eyes lighting up with surprise and joy each and every time she spots me. The best part of babyhood, experiencing each moment as new and special.
I love being Kee's mommy. It's an opportunity to learn to really live again, to enjoy simple pleasures and to laugh so so so much more than ever before.
Warning: Watching the washing dry in the sun leads to happy thoughts and feeling blessed. Are you ready for it? What the heck - enjoy the sight, for in an hour's time it may rain. (And I will hold the evaporating moisture from my washing solely responsible). Yeh hai England meri jaan (This is England my love)!
Note for the musically inclined - sing "Happy yellow muslin hanging on the line" to the tune of "Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree"...... now you can really go to ga-ga land with me heehaw heehaw!
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Footie-watching mates
"Yeh footie ka jod hai, tootega nahin" is the line that flashes through my mind as I recall the number of football-related conversations I have had over the last 4+ years. Living in the UK, it is a definite ice-breaker in most situations, be it with a footie-lover or a 'i-hate-my-hubby's-footie-fetish' wife. Actually, given the popularity football has gained in the world, it is a great topic to have in your conversation hat anywhere.
Pull it out of the hat when needed and welcome loud discussions, passionate "my club is the best" arguments, expert opinions galore. Watch as awkward silences slink silently out of the room. It's party time - and Footie is the guest of honour.
I started watching football only after hubs and I got together, purely because I had no choice - the footie-watching that is, not the tying-the-knot-business. Four years later and I find myself growing despondent when the season ends and jumping for joy when my team wins. I can rattle off the names of the players of not only my team but also a whole host of others. I can read the transfer gossip column and actually have an opinion on why such-and-such club should not pay x million pounds for so-and-so player and so on.
Has hubs successfully converted me to his path? Did he win? Or did I?
Well, my dears, this is one of those win-win situations - surprisingly, they do exist. We are now more than just husband and wife. We are footie mates and that's one strong bond. We are on-side this time and it's a brilliant goal.
Pull it out of the hat when needed and welcome loud discussions, passionate "my club is the best" arguments, expert opinions galore. Watch as awkward silences slink silently out of the room. It's party time - and Footie is the guest of honour.
I started watching football only after hubs and I got together, purely because I had no choice - the footie-watching that is, not the tying-the-knot-business. Four years later and I find myself growing despondent when the season ends and jumping for joy when my team wins. I can rattle off the names of the players of not only my team but also a whole host of others. I can read the transfer gossip column and actually have an opinion on why such-and-such club should not pay x million pounds for so-and-so player and so on.
Has hubs successfully converted me to his path? Did he win? Or did I?
Well, my dears, this is one of those win-win situations - surprisingly, they do exist. We are now more than just husband and wife. We are footie mates and that's one strong bond. We are on-side this time and it's a brilliant goal.
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